well I can't set my house on fire every night
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
