Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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