I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
