Have you finally orgasmed yet?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize