So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
