I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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