Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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