i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
