his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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