i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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