i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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