She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
