he puts the penis in happiness.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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