Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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