his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
