I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm passing your future prison.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
