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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
