I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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