I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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