bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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