at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
