whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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