my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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