Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
