After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I know her cup size but not her name....
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