i jhust puked up my retainher.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
