nut hugger
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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