Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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