im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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