It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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