i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Say something about gay babies.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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