how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
