i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
