I'm jealous of your bromance
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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