The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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