He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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