I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
