I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
