I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
