I hate your face
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
