mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The feeling are messing with the penis
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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