Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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