that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize