Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
