dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
