can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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