dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
