wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
me + whiskey = a bad person
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
