i don't like sucking hair
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
