I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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