Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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