its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just google imaged poop.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
