mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize