South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
