I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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