He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
