The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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